The Friendly Skies, not on my watch

I love Southwest Airlines. No seriously, I love Southwest Airlines. Check in your bags for free, they don't oversell seats, and very seldom are the flights delayed. I can't say the same for United. Recently, I had the misfortune of flying United and I was reminded why I have a love-hate relationship with this airlines. Last weekend I was at Dulles flying back to SFO. When I got to the gate they were asking passengers to voluntarily catch a later flight and in return they would give a round trip domestic ticket because they overbooked the flight. They needed five people to give up their seats. So I asked the clerk if I would possibly have a hard time getting a seat on the next flight. After a brief pause she said, "Yes that one's oversold as well."

This isnt the first time, I've been on a flight that's been overbooked by United. So at that point instead of waxing and waning about whether I'd be getting a window or an aisle seat I ran to the gate happily. The bleached blonde air waitress then announced that the plan had no more room in the overhead bins and that they would check in bags free of charge. One of the passengers next to me said, "What a minute, I just paid $48 to check in 2 bags and now you're letting people check in their bags for free. That doesn't seem fair." Air waitress says, "well that's our policy." Shaking my head, I said, That's why I can't stand this airlines!!!

Aside from the inconsistent baggage policies, I dislike United because of the bourgeois fanfare that happens before every flight. First, they roll out the red carpet, literally, and invite their Red Carpet Club members to board. Red Carpet Club is a program that one can join for an annual fee of $475. Next they board the first class, then business class, then Mileage plus, the economy plus, then coach passengers are allowed to board the plane. Coach passengers, why not just call it steerage?

As if they don't already charge for extra leg room, meals, snacks, United is considering charging the use the bathroom!!! But the good news is passengers will be able to get airline miles credit each time they pay to pee, whew that's just great. The more airlines miles I earn the sooner I can book another flight. Good times.